ACT ONE
FADE IN:
1 EXT. ALLEYWAY - MORNING 1
A middle-aged sanitation worker drinks coffee in the cab of
his garbage truck while the automated forks load a dumpster
into the back. He looks bored. An unusually loud thump is
heard as the dumpster is emptied.
SAM
(O.S.)
Oh my God! Stop the truck! Don't
kill me! Oh God, not again!
The worker, in mid-sip of his coffee, rolls his eyes as if
he's been through this a hundred times. He turns off the
truck and walks to the back. Sam, a 45-year-old homeless man,
lies in the back covered with garbage. Sam is educated and
cultured, but not very street smart. He doesn't act like he
belongs in the homeless community.
SANITATION WORKER
Get the hell out of there! You know
what happens to me if I crush you?
I lose my job!
SAM
You know what happens to me if you
crush me?!
The worker, his temper getting the best of him, grabs Sam by
the collar and throws him out of the truck.
SANITATION WORKER
Every week it's a new one of you
bums. Can't you just sleep on the
sidewalk like decent folk?
SAM
I'm not a bum.
SANITATION WORKER
No, all the hip middle-aged men
live in dumpsters nowadays, right?
Homes and condos went out with
beards and VCRs.
Sam stands up and brushes himself off.
SAM
Rip me all you want. I have more
dignity than you.
SANITATION WORKER
You also have more mayonnaise in
your hair than me.
Sam touches his head and feels the massive glob of
mayonnaise.
SAM
Damn it! Why don't you be more
careful?
SANITATION WORKER
I don't have time to check for
people in places they shouldn't be.
This is your last warning. Next
time I have to deal with you, I'll
make sure you aren't able to climb
back in that dumpster.
The worker storms back to the truck and drives off. Sam
shakes his head and walks the other way.
2 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 2
A shop owner is spraying the sidewalk with a hose. Sam
cautiously approaches.
SAM
Hi, I'm Sam.
The shop owner tries to ignore him.
SAM (CONT'D)
Nice to meet you. Um, can you spray
me?
The shop owner eyes him suspiciously.
SAM (CONT'D)
C'mon, help a guy out.
The shop owner reluctantly sprays a little water Sam's way.
SAM (CONT'D)
Keep it coming! I don't mind.
The shop owner smiles as he sprays Sam some more. They both
laugh. After a moment, the owner shoots a hard spray directly
in Sam's face.
SAM (CONT'D)
All right! Enough! That's enough!
3 INT. BATHROOM - MORNING 3
We see a close-up of a man's face as he sleeps sitting
upright. Pro, as this lanky and odd-looking man's friends
call him, is in his early-20s. His eyes flutter and open. He
yawns and stands up, moving offscreen.
CUT TO:
A shot of Pro from the shoulders up, standing at the bathroom
mirror. He yawns again, then splashes water on his face. He
looks grubby, and obviously hasn't shaved in a while. Pro
gargles some water, fixes his hair, then takes a deep breath
and smiles into the mirror before turning and opening the
bathroom door. As he walks out, we realize this is not a
bathroom in a house, but a bathroom in a fast food
restaurant. An employee grabs Pro in a headlock.
EMPLOYEE
Last night at closing you told me
you'd come right out! You didn't
even order anything! I gave you
that bathroom token in trust!
PRO
I fell asleep! Lots of people fall
asleep in the bathroom!
The employee lets go of Pro, but still has him cornered.
EMPLOYEE
Nobody falls asleep in the
bathroom! You're a liar and a
thief, Prometheus. You shall never
see a bathroom token again!
PRO
C'mon, man!
EMPLOYEE
Blacklisted! Blacklisted from this
place!
PRO
Spartacus! Spartacus!
EMPLOYEE
Get the hell out of here, you crazy
bum!
The employee grabs Pro and drags him out of the restaurant.
PRO
Spartacus! Spartacus! Dalton
Trumbo!
EMPLOYEE
Stay outta here, Pro. Go be drunk
somewhere else.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
4 EXT. STREET - LATER 4
Sam sits down next to Pro, who has found a spot to panhandle.
Most of Pro's days are spent panhandling to get money for
liquor. His quick temper and quirkiness doesn't help him, and
neither does the fact that he speaks like a seasoned drunk,
slurring most of his words.
PRO
(To passersby)
Hey ratface, gimme a dollar.
SAM
Hi Pro.
PRO
What are you doing?
SAM
I'm sitting down to hang out with
you.
PRO
If it looks like I have friends,
people won't give me any money.
A man walks past, frowns at the two of them, and continues
walking.
PRO (CONT'D)
Look at that, he thinks I'm happy!
Would you get the hell out of here?
SAM
I need a good place to sleep.
PRO
Have you tried the Four Seasons?
They've got them toilets with the
auto flushers.
SAM
Seriously, tell me a good hiding
spot at night.
PRO
Them flushy things scare the
bejeezus out of me.
SAM
Pro.
PRO
It's like if ya move even a little,
the things go off on ya. Every time
you go to the bathroom you have to
be steady and still, like you're
defusing a bomb.
Pro holds out his arms and leans forward in deep
concentration, acting out the scene. A woman walking by
glances nervously at him.
PRO (CONT'D)
He's not my friend! I don't have
any friends! I'm messed up and
nobody likes me! Gimme money!
SAM
Try acting helpless instead of
insane.
A man walks past.
PRO
I'm retarded. Give me some money.
The man ignores him.
PRO (CONT'D)
(to Sam)
Get out of here, people hate you!
Sam gets up to leave.
SAM
I'll talk to you when you're sober,
Pro.
PRO
That'll be a while!
Pro cackles loudly.
5 INT. OFFICE BUILDING - AFTERNOON 5
Emily is walking through the lobby, saying goodbye to co
workers as she leaves. She's middle-aged, attractive and very
friendly.
6 EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - CONTINUOUS 6
Emily walks outside and down the street, stopping in front of
Pro to try to hail a cab.
PRO
Hi, what's your name?
EMILY
Emily.
Beat.
PRO
You got pretty legs.
Emily smiles nervously.
EMILY
Thanks, but I'm wearing pants.
PRO
You got pretty pants.
She tries to ignore him.
PRO (CONT'D)
I'm not trying to get into your
pants, I just wanna know if you
have any change in them.
Emily sighs, frustrated that she can't get a cab. She
continues walking down the street.
PRO (CONT'D)
(Shouting from distance)
Oh my God! Is anybody gonna give me
any money today?
7 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 7
Emily walks to a bus stop bench and sits down next to Sam.
She looks over and studies him, then smiles.
EMILY
I'm sorry, you look like someone I
used to work with.
Sam smiles, but it fades as he realizes he does know her. He
panics.
SAM
Funny . . .
Emily is obviously still thinking about it. Sam gets up and
walks briskly down the street. She looks.
EMILY
Oh my God, It is you. Sam!
Sam breaks into a sprint. Emily chases after him.
8 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 8
Sam bowls over Pro, knocking him into a pile of garbage cans,
then runs offscreen. A nearby kid laughs. Pro stands up to
brush himself off, and Emily runs by, also knocking him into
garbage cans. The kid laughs harder. Pro stands up and looks
at the kid.
PRO
If this keeps happening, will you
give me money?
LAUGHING KID
No.
A businessman rushes by and knocks Pro into the garbage cans
again. The kid laughs hysterically.
9 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 9
Sam continues running and yelling for people to get out of
his way. He approaches a large group of Girl Scouts selling
cookies. One of the little girls points at him and screams.
The rest turn to look. Seeing this dirty and crazed homeless
man running at them, they scream in unison and run away in
the same direction, so it appears as if Sam's chasing them.
Pedestrians standing near the table hold for a beat, then
start fighting over the now unguarded cookies.
The scoutmaster, running with the girls, repeatedly smacks
Sam in the face with a newspaper. The girls continue
screaming and running, eventually turning off to the side.
Sam continues, running past the shop owner with the hose. The
shop owner sprays him in the face again.
SAM
Not now! Not now!
Emily runs past the shop owner, and he sprays her too. She
yells.
10 EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS 10
Sam runs into the road, causing multiple cars to slam on
their brakes.
DRIVER
Get outta the road! I'll kill the
next son of a bitch who runs in
front of my car!
Emily runs across the street, trying to catch up to Sam.
DRIVER (CONT'D)
Hey hey, sexy lady! You need a
ride, sweetheart?
11 EXT. PARK - CONTINUOUS 11
Sam climbs a tree and tries to hide in a lower branch. Emily,
out of breath, catches up.
EMILY
Sam, do you honestly think I can't
see you up there?
SAM
I had no choice. I couldn't outrun
you. Why don't you wear high heels
to work? Flats are unclassy.
EMILY
(Playfully)
Unclassy? You're covered in garbage
and sitting in a tree.
SAM
I still wouldn't wear flats to a
business job.
EMILY
Sam, what's going on? What happened
to you?
SAM
I don't know, I-
EMILY
Can you climb down and tell me?
SAM
No.
EMILY
Why not?
SAM
I don't know how. I've never
climbed a tree before.
EMILY
You get down the same way you got
up.
SAM
I don't know how I got up. I was
excited.
EMILY
Here, I'm coming up then.
Emily easily climbs the tree and sits down next to Sam.
SAM
You're not exactly making me look
good.
EMILY
Like I could make you look worse.
Now tell me what happened. How did
you go from being my co-worker to
this? You left because you sold
that book you were working on,
right? What went wrong?
SAM
Somebody finally bought it, but
they screwed me. I spent half my
life trying to get my father's
story published. The man was a war
hero, but they didn't care.
EMILY
Who didn't?
SAM
The publisher. A few weeks into it,
they informed me they were adding
fictional material to the book.
They didn't think it was exciting
enough. Apparently the contract I
signed allowed that.
EMILY
So that was the end of the deal.
SAM
I wanted it to be, but I was locked
into the contract. They still
wanted to publish it as a non
fiction book with my father's name
on it, so I did the only thing I
could, and snuck into their offices
to get rid of it.
EMILY
You broke into their offices to
steal your own book?
SAM
I had no choice. I did what my
father would have done. How would
you feel if someone told you your
life was boring?
EMILY
My life is boring.
Sam cracks a smile. Emily giggles.
EMILY (CONT'D)
Did you get caught?
SAM
I snuck in, checked their
computers, and deleted every copy
of the script I could find.
Unfortunately, I also deleted some
other stuff by accident.
EMILY
Other people's books?
SAM
53 of them, to be exact.
EMILY
Oh my God.
SAM
And their computer's address book,
which had most of the contact
information for the other authors.
EMILY
Oh my God.
SAM
And a few years of their tax
records.
EMILY
Oh my-
SAM
Please stop saying "Oh my God."
EMILY
But you're horrible! You're like
Charles Manson, but with books!
SAM
I didn't mean to! I didn't even
know until they arrested me. I used
some program that deletes files so
they can't be recovered, and it
deleted more than I thought.
EMILY
Didn't they have paper copies of
everything?
SAM
Probably, but they claimed
differently in court. I served a
year in jail, then was ordered to
pay $1 million in restitution. I
spent a year working again, but I
couldn't stand having half of every
paycheck sent to people who tried
to ruin my father's life story.
EMILY
So you chose to ruin yours instead.
SAM
I still have my dignity.
EMILY
Why do you smell like mayonnaise?
12 EXT. STREET - AFTERNOON 12
Pro sits on the sidewalk, still begging for change.
PRO
It's 90 degrees out. Can I please
have money for something to drink?
PASSERBY
There's a drinking fountain right
over there.
The passerby points to a drinking fountain clearly in view
behind Pro. Pro stares at it for a long moment, then turns
back to the passerby.
PRO
Yeah, but it's got no alcohol in
it.
13 EXT. PARK - AFTERNOON 13
Emily and Sam have managed to get down from the tree.
EMILY
Let me help, Sam. I'll get you a
job and a place.
SAM
You think the police won't notice
when I start earning paychecks? I'm
in hiding.
EMILY
If they haven't caught you yet,
then I doubt they're looking very
hard.
SAM
And they won't start looking hard
as long as I keep my head down.
They'll let me be if they think I'm
miserable.
Emily stops walking. Sam stops and turns to her.
EMILY
Aren't you?
SAM
It's not so bad.
EMILY
It's not so good.
SAM
I sleep late, I do whatever I want.
I live a very exciting life.
EMILY
You sleep in garbage, you
technically don't do anything, and
your social life involves hanging
out with drunk felons who make six
year-olds look ambitious.
CUT TO:
14 EXT. STREET - AFTERNOON 14
Pro sits on the ground holding a "Please give" sign. A few
feet away, a little girl dances while people shower her with
change. Pro scowls at her.
CUT TO:
15 EXT. PARK - AFTERNOON 15
SAM
I'm one with the city and its
people. The city's soul is my soul.
EMILY
That's not a good thing.
CUT TO:
16 EXT. STREET - AFTERNOON 16
An old woman holding flyers for her lost cat approaches an
old man. The man looks startled.
OLD WOMAN
Excuse me, have you seen a black
tabby anywhere? I miss my Mr.
Whiskers so much!
The man sprays her in the eyes with mace and runs away. She
yells.
CUT TO:
17 EXT. PARK - AFTERNOON 17
SAM
I can watch the sun rise every
morning.
EMILY
So can I.
SAM
I can enjoy the outdoors every day.
EMILY
So can I.
SAM
I can go to the bathroom wherever I
like.
EMILY
So can I.
SAM
Prove it.
18 EXT. STREET - DUSK 18
It's getting dark. We see a few office workers entering taxis
and the subway. The rush hour crowd is thinning out.
DISSOLVE TO:
19 EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - DUSK 19
Lights slowly go out in an office building, one by one, as
the sun begins setting.
DISSOLVE TO:
20 EXT. STREET - DUSK 20
Pro is still sitting on the sidewalk begging for change. A
few people walk by, dressed in business attire. Frustrated,
Pro has resorted to shouting to no one in particular.
PRO
It's gettin' cold out, get rid of
your change! It'll freeze to the
side of your legs!
A few more people walk past, dressed in casual clothes.
PRO (CONT'D)
All I got is 42 cents, and it takes
50 cents to bribe the fast food
lady for ketchup packets.
A few bums walk past.
PRO (CONT'D)
Jesus, people on this street are
gettin' poorer by the minute.
21 EXT. STREET - EVENING 21
The sun has set. Sam and Emily are saying goodbye.
EMILY
Where do you sleep?
SAM
Wherever I can find a place. On the
sidewalk, in alleyways.
EMILY
(Playfully)
What about the park? I heard grass
is softer than concrete.
SAM
The cops would get me in the
morning.
EMILY
And write you a ticket for
sleeping? Where would they mail it?
SAM
(Laughing)
I can show you exactly where they'd
"mail" it.
EMILY
Not on the first date, Romeo.
SAM
This is a date?
EMILY
I don't think that would work out.
No offense.
Beat.
EMILY (CONT'D)
I should go. Are you usually around
here? Is this your . . . turf?
SAM
You want to come back and see me?
EMILY
Well, I want to make sure you're
all right.
SAM
Okay, yeah. I'm usually around
here.
EMILY
Okay. I guess I'll see you around.
SAM
(Smiling)
I'll be here.
EMILY
Okay, see ya.
Sam walks backward slowly, watching Emily as she leaves.
SAM
Bye.
22 EXT. STREET - EVENING 22
Emily walks past the shop owner, who is still hosing down the
sidewalk. She stops and turns to him.
EMILY
Do you ever do anything besides
hose down the sidewalk?
The shop owner hangs his head, then turns off the hose. Emily
walks offscreen.
23 EXT. STREET - EVENING 23
Sam curls into the stoop of a building and tries to sleep. He
can't get comfortable. He's still not used to living like
this. After tossing and turning a few more times, he gets up.
As he's leaving, another homeless man approaches.
HOMELESS MAN #1
You done with that?
SAM
Yeah.
Sam walks toward the park.
24 EXT. PARK - EVENING 24
Sam walks into the park and finds a spot underneath a large
tree. He curls into a ball and closes his eyes.
DISSOLVE TO:
25 EXT. PARK - NIGHT 25
A stray dog approaches where Sam is sleeping. It looks like
the dog is taking an interest in Sam, but instead it walks to
the tree, sniffs around for a moment, and goes to the
bathroom on the tree.
DISSOLVE TO:
26 EXT. PARK - LATER 26
A homeless man, drunk out of his mind, approaches where Sam
is sleeping. He also seems to be taking an interest, but then
turns and goes to the bathroom on the tree.
DISSOLVE TO:
27 EXT. PARK - LATER 27
A police officer approaches the tree where Sam is sleeping.
He looks like he's going to arrest Sam. Instead, he looks
around suspiciously for a moment, then turns and goes to the
bathroom on the tree.
FADE OUT.
The screen remains black. Voices are heard, but are hard to
understand.
FADE IN:
28 EXT. PARK - LATER 28
From Sam's point of view on the ground we see the blurry
outline of three figures.
TEEN #1
Do it!
TEEN #2
Hurry up! C'mon!
The camera slowly focuses, and we see three teens, each
around 16 years old, looking down at Sam. A moment after
coming into focus, Teen #3 throws a rock in Sam's face.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK - CONTINUOUS
Sam yells and rolls over.
TEEN #2
Get him again!
Teen #3 pulls Sam onto his back. Teen #1 punches Sam in the
face. Teen #2 kicks Sam in the stock.
SAM
(Out of breath)
What are you doing?!
The teens drag Sam to his feet and throw him into the side of
a stone bench. The three teens continue kicking and punching
Sam.
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK - CONTINUOUS
From Sam's point of view, we watch as Teen #1 lands a hard
final punch to Sam's face.
FADE TO BLACK.
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
29 EXT. PARK - MORNING 29
A family - father, mother, and young son and daughter - are
walking through the park. Each of them smiles brightly.
FATHER
Take a whiff of that fresh air,
kids! This is God's park.
Everything here is fresh and
vibrant and alive! It reminds me of
my younger days growing up in the
country.
MOTHER
See kids? Not everything in the
city is filthy and unpleasant.
God's park!
The family walks slower as they approach a picnic table. Sam
is lying on top of it, bloody and beaten. He's on his back
with the top half of his body hanging off the end of the
table.
DAUGHTER
Is that God?
MOTHER
No dear.
DAUGHTER
Good.
The family cautiously walks around the table, nervous that
Sam might wake up.
FATHER
This gentleman doesn't have a job,
kids. See what happens?
DAUGHTER
Is he dead?
FATHER
No, dear. I saw him twitch a
little. He'll be fine.
The family walks offscreen. Sam coughs.
SAM
Holy crap.
30 EXT. NEWSSTAND - MORNING 30
An attractive woman in a red dress is waiting for a cab. A
handsome man drives up in a BMW, parks in the bus zone at the
curb, and walks toward the newsstand.
HANDSOME MAN
That's quite the striking dress.
WOMAN IN RED
(Smiling)
Thank you.
The man continues to the nearby newsstand to buy a newspaper.
After a beat, Pro walks past the woman.
PRO
(Earnestly)
That's quite the striking dress.
WOMAN IN RED
Get away from me, deadbeat!
Pro takes a few slow steps, glaring back at her. The man, now
with his newspaper, stands next to the woman and smiles at
Pro.
HANDSOME MAN
Good things come to those who work
for it. Have a nice day.
The man turns and strikes up a conversation with the woman.
Pro continues backpedaling slowly, glaring at both of them.
He grabs a sharp rock off the ground and uses it to "key" the
man's car for the entire length of the vehicle. Neither the
man nor the woman notice, and Pro slinks away.
PRO
Have a nice day.
31 EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - MORNING 31
Emily arrives to find Sam sitting on the stairs outside the
building, waiting for her. He's still badly hurt.
EMILY
Oh my God, Sam? What happened to
you?
SAM
I'm sorry to bother you. Do you
have a few bucks for the bus?
Emily is horrified.
EMILY
What happened? Who did this? You
need to go to a hospital, you're
bleeding!
SAM
Some kids jumped me. It's not a big
deal.
EMILY
I'm taking you to the hospital.
Let's go.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
32 INT. EMERGENCY ROOM - MORNING 32
Sam and Emily are joined in their room by a nurse. Perky and
annoying, the nurse greatly irritates Sam with her "baby
talk" style of speaking. Sam stares straight ahead, trying to
block out her voice.
NURSE
Heyyyy there, what happened to this
little guy?
EMILY
He got beat up pretty badly. Do you
think he'll need stitches or
anything?
NURSE
I dunnooooo. He might.
(To Sam, softly)
Do we have a lot of ouchies?
Ouchies on our head?
Sam keeps staring straight ahead, but his facial expression
shows he's about taken his limit of the nurse.
NURSE (CONT'D)
You're being a brave guy today.
We're gonna fix you up right away.
Just show me where the boo-boos
are.
SAM
I'm not a little boy!
NURSE
Looks like our special guy's a
little cranky today. I'll be back
in a minute.
The nurse exits.
EMILY
You might be a little nicer
considering you have no insurance.
SAM
She's treating me like I'm a
Chihuahua she keeps in her handbag.
If I hadn't said something, she'd
be force-feeding me dog food by
now.
EMILY
What were you doing to make those
kids come after you, anyway?
SAM
Nothing. They did it for kicks. You
hear about it sometimes. Fratboys
or gangs have initiations, or kids
do it for a laugh. People don't
care what happens to us.
EMILY
This is common? You can't let this
go. You have to tell someone.
SAM
Who am I gonna tell?
EMILY
The police! Or tell you friends so
they can watch out for you!
SAM
Emily, I just got beat up by
children. Do you have any idea how
humiliating this is?
The nurse enters.
NURSE
I brought you some Bugs Bunny band
aids! That's your reward for being
brave!
Sam buries his face in his hands.
33 EXT. STREET - AFTERNOON 33
The three teenagers who attacked Sam the previous night walk
past Pro as he panhandles.
PRO
You boys wanna see a trick? Let me
borrow a quarter and I'll show ya a
trick. Or ten dollars. I can do a
cooler trick if I borrow ten
dollars.
TEEN #1
Why don't you go work for ten
dollars, loser?
PRO
Because then it wouldn't be a
trick.
TEEN #2
I've got a trick for you.
Teen #2 grabs Pro's feet and flips him backwards.
PRO
That wasn't worth ten dollars. I'll
tell ya what is, though.
TEEN #2
What?
PRO
Your haircut and $9.50.
TEEN #2
Whatever, drunk. Let's go.
TEEN #1
Maybe we'll come back and visit
you, friend.
The teens leave.
34 EXT. HOSPITAL - MORNING 34
A small group of girl scouts are sitting at a table they've
set up on the sidewalk, selling cookies. Suddenly, all of
them look to their left.
GIRL SCOUT
It's that man!
The girl scouts all scream and quickly carry their table
away. Sam and Emily enter from the left. Sam is cleaned up,
but still badly bruised.
EMILY
So what are you going to do? Do you
have a knife or something to
protect yourself?
SAM
Do I look like I have a knife?
EMILY
Actually, you kinda do.
Sam stares at Emily disapprovingly.
EMILY (CONT'D)
Sorry, homeless people kind of look
like serial killers. But those
little kids beat you pretty badly,
so I guess you're not.
Sam continues staring disapprovingly at Emily.
EMILY (CONT'D)
Sorry, that was rude.
SAM
If I ever do become a serial
killer, I'll make sure to start
with you.
EMILY
Sam, you need to have a plan. What
if this happens again? I'm worried
about you.
SAM
I'll be fine. I'll sleep somewhere
else.
EMILY
Crash at my place tonight.
SAM
What?
Emily also seems a little shocked that she suggested it.
EMILY
Just for one night. Crash on my
couch so you're safe tonight, then
start fresh the next day to find a
better sleeping spot.
SAM
I don't need charity.
EMILY
(Playfully)
Don't consider it charity. Consider
it not being stupid for one night.
Sam stares at the ground.
EMILY (CONT'D)
You need the rest.
Sam continues staring at the ground.
EMILY (CONT'D)
I've got aspirin and beer.
SAM
Okay, fine.
35 EXT. STREET - AFTERNOON 35
Pro and three other guys are sitting on the sidewalk playing
cards. Tress is a middle-aged hobo, friendly but not too
bright. Jacobi is the only person there with a job. He runs
the newsstand that was seen earlier. Peacock is a large older
man in a wheelchair who never speaks, just coughs. He does so
about every three seconds throughout this scene.
TRESS
How many cards are in this deck you
found?
PRO
Um . . . fifteen?
TRESS
I don't think there's any pairs.
Peacock coughs loudly.
PRO
You don't know boo about cards.
TRESS
What the hell's a boo?
PRO
You don't know boo about boo,
either. You're worthless, Tress.
JACOBI
Can we stop saying boo, please?
Jesus.
Peacock coughs loudly.
PRO
Lay 'em down, boys. What ya got?
JACOBI
My highest card is a seven.
TRESS
I've got a two, a three, a six, a
ten, and a card with blood all over
it that I can't read.
Pro, Jacobi, and Peacock all slide away from Tress.
PRO/JACOBI/PEACOCK
Ewww.
JACOBI
Why don't we get some real cards?
Peacock coughs loudly.
TRESS
You're the one with a job, Jacobi.
Take some money from your
newsstand.
JACOBI
I don't got no money. Nobody buys
anything anymore, not even the
nudie magazines. They're like
Betamax now.
Sam approaches.
SAM
Hey guys. How's that cough treating
you, Peacock?
Peacock coughs loudly.
SAM (CONT'D)
Glad to hear it. I'm going to find
something to eat.
PRO
Here, I'll come with ya. Later
guys.
Sam and Pro walk down the street.
PRO (CONT'D)
Where'd ya get those stitches, man?
Did the garbage truck finally crush
ya?
SAM
No, garbage day is Wednesday.
PRO
Oh, right.
Beat.
PRO (CONT'D)
So what'd ya do wrong, man? What
went sour?
SAM
Some kids in the park woke me up
with rocks last night.
PRO
Jesus. That's why ya can't sleep
there. It's too busy, y'know? Too
many drunks. I hate to be around
them types.
Pro pulls a flask out of his jacket and takes a big swig,
then notices Sam staring at him.
PRO (CONT'D)
What? I don't hit ya with rocks, do
I? I got arrested for falling down
the library stairs once, but that
was a victimless crime.
SAM
They were older kids, but I don't
think they were even drunk. People
are just getting meaner, Pro. It
keeps getting worse.
PRO
It's that Bum Fights stuff, man.
Remember those videos?
The ones those guys made where they
gave crackheads and mentals food
and booze if they fought? It
teaches kids stuff, man.
SAM
Sad world.
PRO
Free booze though. Man, I would've
loved to be in those. Fightin'
against guys who don't know what's
going on. Easy freebies.
Sam stares disapprovingly at Pro, then sighs and rolls his
eyes.
PRO (CONT'D)
Keep them stitches clean. Find a
rag or somethin' tonight to wrap
around your head.
Sam hesitates.
SAM
(Begrudgingly)
Actually, I found a way to sleep
inside tonight. That girl who
chased me down today, she's letting
me sleep on her couch for a night.
PRO
No way! That chick who works down
the street? What's her name . . .
SAM
Emily.
PRO
Yeah!
SAM
Look, don't tell anyone. She's just
helping me out because I used to
know her. It's only for a night.
PRO
Sam, I promise ya, swear to God, I
will not tell anyone who don't need
to know.
SAM
Thanks, Pro.
36 INT. EMILY'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON 36
Emily is sitting at her desk, talking on the phone, when a
tall hobo enters and curls up on her couch to sleep. She
stares at him for a beat, shocked, then loudly clears her
throat at the hobo.
EMILY
Excuse me.
Beat.
EMILY (CONT'D)
Excuse me!
The Lanky Hobo opens his eyes and looks at her.
TALL HOBO
Oh, hello.
He puts his head down and closes his eyes again.
EMILY
Hey! Weirdo! What the hell do you
think you're doing?
Another hobo enters. He's wearing a dirty bicycle helmet.
EMILY (CONT'D)
Why are you people in my office?
Get out!
HELMET HOBO
Aw, c'mon Emily!
TALL HOBO
Yeah, c'mon Emily.
EMILY
How do you know my name?!
The Helmet Hobo starts rooting through things on her shelf.
He holds up a decorative "Mom" picture frame that holds a
photo of Emily's mother.
HELMET HOBO
Can I keep this? Thanks.
He puts it in his pocket. A third hobo enters pushing a
shopping cart full of aluminum cans. He accidentally bangs it
into her desk.
SHOPPING HOBO
Sorry Emily.
EMILY
For the love of God!
37 EXT. STREET - MOMENTS LATER 37
Sam and Pro sit on the curb.
SAM
It's almost five. I'm going to go
wait for Emily outside her
building.
Sam stands up.
PRO
Should be interesting.
SAM
What?
PRO
Nothin'.
38 INT. EMILY'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 38
Emily's office is now filled with five or six hobos, all of
them friendly and talkative, assuming Emily wants to help
them. Emily is unsuccessfully trying to pull Tall Hobo off
her couch while shooing the rest of them out the door. A
secretary enters the office. Her mouth drops open. She
doesn't know quite what to say.
SECRETARY
Uh . . . will any of you gentlemen
be wanting coffee?
This offer produces applause, cheering, and whistling from
the hobos.
EMILY
All right, everybody out of the
building! You've got 30 seconds
before I call the cops!
This produces booing from the hobos as they shuffle out the
door.
EMILY (CONT'D)
Go! Get out!
All the hobos leave except two: Tress and Helmet Hobo.
They're sitting on the floor cross-legged, making paper hats
out of some business documents. They stop and look up at
Emily, who points toward the door.
EMILY (CONT'D)
It's time to stop making hats. It's
time to leave.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
39 EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - DUSK 39
The hobos that were in Emily's office exit the building and
turn down the street. A moment after they're out of sight,
Sam approaches from the opposite direction and sits at the
base of the stairs. Emily exits the building and walks over
to Sam. She's eerily calm as she talks.
EMILY
How was your afternoon?
SAM
Good. You?
EMILY
Oh, pretty typical. I did some
paperwork, had some phone
conferences, and then watched as a
half-dozen homeless people mistook
my office for a train depot.
It takes a moment before this information sinks in for Sam.
He turns to Emily with wide eyes.
SAM
What?
EMILY
(Oozing sarcasm)
You know how kids run excitedly out
to the playground at recess? That's
how they came into my office. It
was nice. They curled up on the
couch, made paper hats out of my
business papers, and intimidated my
co-workers into giving them smokes.
Sam continues staring at Emily for a beat.
EMILY (CONT'D)
(Shouting)
Why did you tell them where I
work!?
SAM
I didn't! I just told Pro that . .
. Oh God, that was dumb. I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
EMILY
Look, I just don't feel comfortable
with all this. Y'know? I don't
think I can let you stay on my
couch tonight. I know we used to be
friends, but I still feel a little
weird about this whole situation of
yours.
SAM
I understand.
EMILY
I can still help you, okay? It just
has to be with little things. Some
extra food, a ride somewhere,
someone to listen and give you
advice. I can help you with that
stuff, but there's a limit to how
far I can go without giving up my
own life.
SAM
It's okay. I'm sorry about today. I
didn't know.
EMILY
I know.
Beat.
SAM
We're still friends, right?
EMILY
Of course we are.
Emily and Sam hug.
EMILY (CONT'D)
God, you smell awful.
SAM
(Laughing)
Shut up!
40 EXT. STREET - EVENING 40
Pro is asleep, slumped into a corner with a blanket covering
his legs. An empty liquor bottle is next to him. Hushed
voices are heard and shadows move across the wall, then
everything is silent and still. Two beats later, a rock
smashes against the wall above Pro's head. He awakens to see
the three teens who beat up Sam earlier.
TEEN #1
You ready to work for that ten
dollars, drunky?
Pro grabs the empty flask bottle and throws it in Teen #1's
face. Teen #2 rushes forward, but Pro wraps the blanket
around Teen #2's face and slams him into a wall. When Pro
turns around, Teen #3 is right there and punches Pro to the
ground. The other two teens have recovered and join in
beating Pro while he's down.
TEEN #1 (CONT'D)
Let's see how you like bottles!
Teen #1 takes a bottle and smashes it over Pro's back. Pro,
refusing to give up, grabs Teen #2's leg and bites him, then
punches Teen #1 in the groin. Pro is grabbed by Teen #2 while
trying to scurry away. Pro's arms are pinned behind his back
as the other two teens pummel him. Just as Teen #3 is about
to strike, a rock hits him in the back of the head, knocking
him out.
PRO
(Slurring)
Hey Sam. How's your evenin' going?
The other two teens try to run. Pro decks Teen #2, knocking
him into a garbage can. Sam decks Teen #1, knocking him into
the same garbage can. Sam grabs Pro and helps him walk.
SAM
You okay?
PRO
Stupid question.
SAM
We'll get you some help.
The two walk past a BMW.
PRO
Walk over that way.
SAM
Why?
PRO
I wanna key that car.
SAM
I think we have enough bad karma
for one day.
PRO
Bad karma? For what?
SAM
Pro, we just beat up children.
PRO
Children? They're teenagers. If
they're old enough to throw rocks,
they're old enough to get hit with
'em.
SAM
Tomorrow is not going to be a good
day.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
41 INT. EMILY'S OFFICE - MORNING 41
Emily sits at her desk. Tress walks in.
EMILY
Get out! No more of you! You're not
welcome here anymore!
TRESS
I know. I just came to get my
stuff.
Tress opens Emily's tall storage closet, pulls out a large
bag of aluminum cans, and walks out the door. Emily puts her
head in her hands.
FADE OUT.
END OF SHOW
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This script was registered with WGA West (#1222325) on 8/19/07, and may not be used without consent.